I cannot tell you how many times I have sat staring at a blank word document, thinking I should write about this new adventure I am having in Thailand learning even more about SE Asia, but I could never quite form the words for all the things I felt, so I would close my computer and forget about it.
BUT, I want to remember my time in Thailand, so it’s due time to start writing on my beautiful blog again.
I was so certain I wanted to return after only 4 months in the United States, but I don’t think I completely prepared myself for that. With so many people saying back then, “Are you really sure this is what you want?”, I wasn’t sure what to do/ what I really wanted then, I needed confirmation, so I returned to SE Asia.

I love Laos like I have never loved any where else, and coming back to a place that is, as the saying goes is, “same same, but different”, is truly really hard.
I have cried my eyes out so many times, I was angry and so sad to leave Laos. I can go back and in the meantime hold on to memories and remain in contact with my good friends. I found myself there, I found who I am called to be, ‘my vocation’ as many institutions like to call it. I found true unconditional love among people (and formed good friendships) among those who are very different from me. I found and saw God acting among the world in very powerful ways, unlike ever before.

I listened to people tell me for weeks…
“If you really wanted, you would find a way to stay there / go back.”
“God has lead you to Laos, God wants you to work among the Lao people”
“You are Lao. You are Lao people now”
among many other comments.

This didn’t really help, and I seriously started searching out other places where I may belong more and do again what I truly loved, but maybe I was just searching for a place that was what I had left behind. With the patience and love of many people I visited sites in Chaing Rai and Kong Kean to see if those were better fits- but maybe I am getting ahead of myself because I have not explained my current placement in Thailand…
I even went so far as searching masters programs that I am very certain I will pursue, and downloading applications, thinking it really was time.

But then I stepped back and evaluated what was really bothering me about my situation, and decided my present was important here and I needed to stay.

Time heals the soul. Thanks to time I have slowly seen that my place in Thailand adds a new perspectives and knowledge to what I have already gained in Laos.
I can still have relationships with my dear friends in Laos (and return, as I have 2 times already), Vietnam, and other places of Thailand. It’s not lost, its only expanding in new ways!

“No one can tell stories like the one to whom it belongs.” – SO TRUE – Heard from pastor in the USA.

So, I have many stories to share since April 2014 when I returned back, stay tuned!

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